🫅Shringar & Spirituality: The Silent Rules Around How a ‘Good Girl’ Should Look

Shringar & Spirituality: The Silent Rules Around Appearance 

This post might be a little more heavy than you’re used to. But I do feel it is necessary to share. Because if there is change needed, we need to begin by addressing it first. 

I have doubted sharing this for a long time. Not trying to generalise at all here, simply trying to convey my own experiences here and trying my best to learn from them. 

Hope this one also makes you think of the times there were unspoken rules. How did you respond to them? 

If you prefer a lighter read, I suggest my blogpost about a living feminine spiritual lifestyle. 

Introduction  

As a young female Hindu priest, I often find myself navigating the unspoken expectations placed on women in spiritual settings. Over the years, both through texts and lived experiences, I picked up a message that was never directly said — but loudly felt:
A “good girl” is quiet, compliant, and visually minimal.

The Silent Expectations

No one needed to tell me explicitly, but the rules were clear:

• Don’t take up too much space.
• Keep your head down.
• Don’t attract attention — especially not with your clothes, hair, or makeup.
• Wear ethnic clothing, but don’t show skin.
• Keep your neckline high.
• Don’t wear dark colours.
• Dress traditionally, but don’t “overdo it”.

And yet, somehow, no matter what I did, it never seemed “right”.

The Paradox of Appearance

If I wore fewer bangles, people commented that my arms looked “empty”.
If I wore more bangles, they were seen as an “obstacle” while doing temple duties.
If I braided my hair, it was “old-fashioned”.
If I left it open, it was “inappropriate”.

These conflicting rules made one thing clear: the point was not really tradition, but control.

A small note here: I am aware that clothing expectations in spiritual environments differ traditionally for males and females (as well as other genders). The point I’d want to focus on is the unspoken, unclear, unwritten expectations, often aimed at women. 

Reflection

Spirituality, at its essence, is about inner alignment. That’s my opinion on the topic. 

Yet, for many women, the external rules become louder than the inner voice.

This blog is the beginning of a series where I unpack these layers — with honesty, respect, and hopefully some empowerment for anyone reading.

Call to Action

If we want change it’s up to us to set that in motion. 

What silent expectations have you felt in your culture or spiritual community? 💭

Keeping life in motion.                                                    See you in the next blog. 

Take care, namaste! 🙏

PS. On a lighter note, you might like my blogpost about a living feminine spiritual lifestyle (featuring breakfast ideas)💡 🥞)

Click here for more resources:  https://linktr.ee/SerenityscriptsbyDevi

PSPS. Feeling overwhelmed? Try this: 1 minute to calm: a guided meditation for stress relief 

More yoga inspiration:

guided meditation to relax (5 minutes) 

instant calm: deep breathing in 10 seconds 

child’s pose 

🏷️ spirituality and appearance, Hindu priest female, shringar meaning, beauty in spirituality, patriarchy in religious settings, women in temples, cultural dress codes India